Forgiveness is an interesting concept.
And it has taken me a few solid months of soul searching, healing and growing to get to this point to realise one thing: I held a lot of grudges against people from the past.
I have a girlfriend who I could call a saint. I used to get frustrated at her and at her loving character. She’d tell me about somebody we’d know- who royally fucked her over and how she was still close with them and would still catch up with them. Whilst, negative old me would just cut all connection with people once they screwed me over.
But interesting enough this last few months has truly showed me that forgiveness is the only way to moving on. Forgiving somebody doesn’t mean you have to be BFFs. But it means you can let go without feeling any sort of resentment, hatred, anger at the sound of somebodies name.
It was true.
Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
So here were ways that I found that helped me forgive other people:
- Blessing them in all their endeavours: This was probably the hardest. This doesn’t even have to be to their face. But looking at their photos and all their achievements and trying to celebrate in their achievements. It’s hard at first but the more you say to yourself you are happy for them, you actually eventually get happy.. for them.
- Writing it out: In a diary, in a blog, on a tissue. Then throw it away. This helped me write out all my feelings without actually saying it to the person. Writing does actually help clarify all the mixed emotions that you may have felt and then saying in the end ” but you know what… I forgive you even though you did this… ” and eventually the anger and hatred will float away
- Surround yourself with forgiving people: Being around spiteful, bitchy people won’t help you. Have somebody who is a loving, forgiving person to be around you. Eventually their personality and traits will rub off you. Trust me.
- Exercise: I found that channeling my energy into different things particularly when I was pissed or angry would help get all the bad juju out and be clear minded with a situation at front. Boxing. Dancing. I found helped a great deal in times of frustration, instead of just building bad vibes through bitching within friendship groups.
- Prayer: I’d ask God to guild me and show me the way to forgive other people. He had forgiven me for my sins, which means I needed to somehow find ways to forgive other people.
I’m definitely still on the road to learning how to forgive people and it’s always a never ending journey. But the first step is to realising that unforgiveness only breeds hate.
And I don’t want wrinkles 🙂